Did you know that the trick to lighting a campfire in wet weather lies in a lady’s handbag?
Specifically, this is a lady who a) smokes b) has chaffed lips and c) is on her period.
Key campfire ingredients: a tampon, some vaseline and a lighter.
Now, I’m not exactly the type of lady who has a handbag but I did chuck these important items into my backpack when I set off on a camping trip last weekend. My aim was to test my new tent and to practice making a campfire.
In typical British fashion the weather forecast was… drizzly. So like any intrepid modern day explorer I prepared for my camping expedition by watching very macho men on YouTube demonstrate how to light a fire. Alas, I don’t have a beard, a knife, an SAS background or a Swedish fireknife. But I can show you have to light a fire with a tampon.
So, what do you do then?
1. Unwrap the tampon and then unfurl it so it’s a rectangle (yea, who knew tampons were actually rectangular?)
2. Smear some vaseline over the tampon.
3. You’ve already make your stone circle and gathered your kindling, sticks and logs right? Great.
Stones, kindling, sticks and a couple of logs for later.
4. Place tampon on stone circle. Cover with a bit of kindling.
5. Light the tampon string.
6. And you’re off…
Before kindle was an e-book, it was a way of starting a campfire. The irony that paperbacks will become kindling…
7. Blow and add wood as necessary.
8. Get the marshmallows out.
I could blog at length on how to toast the perfect marshmallows. Another time.
9. Lie back, listen to the gentle hiss of the water burning out the logs.
10. Watch the stars come back. Smile.
What is this life, if full of care, we have no time to stand and stare…
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